By Zachary Zane
As a boy, Zachary Zane sensed that all was not right when images of his therapist naked popped into his head. Without an explanation as to why, a deep sense of shame pervaded these thoughts. Though his therapist assured him a little imagination was nothing to be ashamed of, over the years, society told him otherwise.
Boyslut is a series of personal and tantalizing essays that articulate how our society still shames people for the sex that they have and the sexualities that they inhabit. Through the lens of his bisexuality and much self-described sluttiness, Zane breaks down exactly how this sexual shame negatively impacts the sex and relationships in our lives, and through personal experience, shares how we can unlearn the harmful, entrenched messages that society imparts to us.
From stories of drug-fueled threesomes and risqu Grindr hookups to insights on dealing with rejection and living with his boyfriend and his wife, Boyslut is reassuring and often painfully funny–but is most potently a testimony that we can all learn to live healthier lives unburdened by stigma.
Format: Hardcover
Language: English
Number Of Pages: 240
Published: 25th May 2023
Publisher: ABRAMS
About the Author
Zachary Zane, but you can also call me The Boyslut. I’m a Brooklyn-based columnist, author, and sex expert whose work focuses on sexuality, lifestyle, and culture. I’m ecstatic to share that my book Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto is out now! Through the lens of my bisexuality and self-described sluttiness, I break down exactly how sexual shame negatively impacts our lives, and how we can unlearn the harmful, entrenched messages that society imparts to us.
I also am the founder and editor-in-chief of Boyslut Zine, which publishes real sex stories from kinksters worldwide.I write “Sexplain It,” the weekly sex and relationship advice column at Men’s Health as well as “Navigating Non-Monogamy,” the monthly relationship column at Cosmopolitan. My work has also been published in the New York Times, Rolling Stone, The Washington Post, Cosmo, GQ, OUT
Editorial Reviews
“Zachary Zane . . . has written this refreshing collection of personal essays as an effort to get to the root of the sexual shame that runs rampant in American culture and help others lead more shame-free lives. Accessible, engaging, and genuinely hilarious, these essays are as titillating as they are educational.”
―Buzzfeed, Most Anticipated LGBTQ+ Book of 2023
“Zachary Zane is one of the best sex writers working today. He has a unique ability to balance humor with a deep appreciation for the vulnerability and humanity of his subjects. And reading about Zane’s own sexual adventures is like getting invited to Sunday brunch by your wittiest, sluttiest, funniest friend and getting to listen to him recount his crazy weekend.”
―DAN SAVAGE, sex columnist and New York Times bestselling author
“Zachary Zane is a FABULOUS queer writer and thinker who’s doing the Lord’s work by promoting bi-visibility, teaching the children about polyamory, and helping the LGBTQ+ community—and really, all people—learn how to become their best authentic selves.”
―BILLY PORTER, actor, singer, and author
“In a world where sexuality and masculinity are often misunderstood and conflated, Zachary Zane manages to use his own unique experiences to knock down stigmas and expand what it means to have a healthy relationship with sex. His honest approach is a welcome reprieve from the messages of our youth and his self-exploration not only encourages but enables us to do our own.”―ALLISON RASKIN, podcaster and New York Times bestselling author
“Zachary is so adept at creating and maintaining exuberant and generative community in spaces that typically feel isolating or forbidding. In the same way, his writing is an invitation that bridges divides. I live for his verve, his no-holds-barred revelations, and his wisdom.”―R. ERIC THOMAS, national bestselling author
“As charming as it is singular, Zachary’s voice is one that is sorely needed in culture. His honesty, candor, analysis, and erotic chaos are a blessing to us all.”―JACOB TOBIA, national bestselling author
“[A] lively examination of all things sexual . . . His observations are lucid, fearlessly candid, informative, and, well, wise. This doesn’t mean they are in any way didactic—they’re always accessible, often funny, and, best of all, they leave the reader with the admonishment that “being kind doesn’t cost you a dime.”
―Booklist
“Zane pushes the envelope . . . His arguments about the complications of bisexual visibility are particularly salient.”
―Publishers Weekly
“The author succeeds at candidly detailing and measuring the value of his sexual exploits . . . Zane provides an enlightening glossary of common and lesser-known sexual terminology . . . His emphatic discourses on erotic liberation, the misunderstood bisexual community, and overcoming sexual shame are credible and noteworthy.”
―Kirkus
“An exercise in shamelessness (that’s a point of pride for Zane and should not be read as an insult), the book details the vast sex life of the bisexual writer. Most fascinating, I thought, was the casual way it traced Zane’s sexual evolution, from considering himself straight to bicurious to bi to polyamorous. Landing on an identity need not be one’s final stop–it can be just the step before the next one, and part of the point of life (at least in my opinion) is to keep growing. Come, watch Zachary Zane grow.” ―Jezebel
“Cocky, comic, and clearly heartfelt, Boyslut offers a vision of non-toxic modern masculinity that allows for all the quirks, kinks, and fetishes one’s dirty mind desires.”
―Passport Magazine
